What's it like to be free?
Welcome to the dark arts.
I went to the Comme des Garçons store in Chelsea and tried on the Junya Watanabe Leather Jacket and looked like Klaus Nomi. I was tempted by the lovely Japanese associate to cop and she almost had me in the first half. I pretended to tell her I was performing at a concert and this jacket would work well on stage. Only 3 were made. One was bought by a client and the other one was bought from the Metropolitan Museum of Art. I did get paid the day before but instead of blowing a bag I chose to become responsible. I hated it.
A couple days ago I got a money budgeting app called Monarch and it changed my life overnight. I realized my biggest expense was restaurants and the graphs showed that I was eating out for a family of 4 the past 2 years. I thought it was under control but damn, I do not cook when I’m on a Wear Many Hats World Tour but I am getting better at cooking at home. We need more food guests on Wear Many Hats. These guests are the inspiration to cook at home, meal prep, brunch at home and have more friends over for dinners.
About to bounce out of here
My friends are like tteok-bokki. Spicy rice cakes that are separated or stuck together in a pan. You can’t control the spiciness so you’ll take it as is, how the chef usually cooks it. If you can’t handle the spice, you’ll enjoy the bounciness. I manage how spicy our friends are by taking in their spiciness then bounce out. We’re all spicy together and …
Friend and guest of the show Peter Lee is in town doing a pop up with Studio Bumi!
More food guests please!
Anyways having a budgeting app is a game changer. I wish I had this sooner when I was getting my life together in my late 20s. I was busy having fun and taking risks at every chance I would get but didn’t cement a semi-charmed life until 30. I focused on what I enjoyed doing and partying was what I was good at. I’m a gig worker in the gig economy chugging along and having fun.
RIP to grinding or hustling from 2010-2020. Photo, barista, studio. 12 hour days. I took on so many gigs to take my mind off of the chaotic lifestyles of the poor and the infamous and it’s what I did without getting a therapist. It felt doable but after the pandemic, we’re all getting squeezed from inflation and the cost of living. I have a therapist again and it has helped me immensely.
Getting a budgeting app also makes me happy and I wonder if I’m unc or losing my edge. Does it bring me anxiety? Maybe, but now I’m wondering how to keep this restaurant budget for the next year because I love eating out. I guess I’m going to have to be free.
What does it mean to be free?
One of my friends in service asked me how to be free? What does that mean and what gives off that I’m free?
It seems that I make the hustle look a lot easier than it actually is. My time in Philly is where I would thank including moving back 3x times from NYC to Philly. I blame Philly for a lot of my issues but I regret saying that if I moved back, I would considered myself a failure. It’s been on my mind as of late and I apologize to my Philly friends. I love Philly. Still not moving back though.
Task on HBO brought back memories
Task on HBO is my favorite show of the season. I may be biased but the rumors are true. I grew up in Delco and it’s where the location of Task is set in. Delco is short for Delaware County sitting outside of Philadelphia, Pennsylvania.
I tried to be helpful and in the next ten minutes, I explained how I wasn’t close to being free. I said that we’re fortunate to be where we’re at.
My friend is an immigrant and I’m a child of immigrants. I couldn’t see myself living anywhere else. New York City and the friends I’ve made contributes to how I enjoy this life and that I owe them everything. I remember saying to forget buying a place in NYC but forget that noise. We will definitely own a place in NYC. Delulu? Yes, but that’s what this country was built on.
In the end who is actually free?
On the walk home I was thinking about how I could answer this question better under 10 minutes. One of my flaws is that I can’t come up with a good answer on the spot or make decisions that will make both parties happy. I’m firing on all cylinders, racing against time, and still getting the heat for it. The simple and corny answer I came up in my head was from believing in myself when on the brink of calling it quits.
I’m grateful for the question. I’ve been wanting for someone to tell me I’m doing aright lately. Maybe that confirms it? Welcome to seasonal depression!
The Dark Arts
We are in the dark arts when being asked for rates on creative work. My work revolves around being a freelancer and this year it has broken up into 25% advertising projects, 25% photography, and 50% service industry.
There’s a new trend of young people locking in, wearing quarter zips and wanting to get internships. Leaving wreaking havoc behind. Do it for the plot but I regret to inform you that there are no more internships kids!
People tell me how much they enjoy the content of my work. Inspired by my posts on social media. I often get the question of what camera I use. You too can have the same formula by not copying my work (which I’ve seen in person, alongside pop ups which is funny to see) but you can do it too! By simply hiring me. Better yet, I have offered the tools to do so. I am selling the tools but nobody wants to pay the price. It’s not that it’s expensive, it’s because people want it… for free.
I have offered different forms of payment when it comes to creative work. No dice, people just want it.. for free.
The amount of consultation meetings have been a waste of time because everyone knows things cost money but suddenly want their projects done… for free.
I’m not trying to sound petty or ungrateful. This is what I’ve noticed. I had hoped that it might get better but I realize I’m going to have to pivot again because it’s looking grim.
I get asked for my rate, tell me it’s reasonable, then shut down the project. If it doesn’t work within your means, barter with me. We used to be a proper country.
Countless of people ask me for the photos I take. Better yet post my photos without credit, or even asking. I’ll hang around in the comments and tell you to credit after. Petty? Teaching a lesson? Just reminding you that it wasn’t free.
It really be your own.
Again, I don’t want to sound ungrateful or come off as complaining but I’ve noticed this in creative. I’ve also noticed in food and beverage and/or the consumer package goods world that it’s the same vibe. People in tech hate their jobs, leave, have a nest egg then start a creative project. These stories all sound alike, dystopian, and out of touch.
There’s no such thing as free lunch but I always want to show gratitude when it happens to me. Everyone wants to feel special. Everyone wants to be taken care of but what happens when it goes too far?
Someone I met through the matcha world came to my first line of pop ups with Matsar, my food and beverage line, and expected not to pay. They are not an influencer and wanted the creative title. They complain on social media about the cost of things and asks strangers on the Internet how to get free software because their computer crashed out.
In karmic fashion, their phone gets stolen abroad and manages to still post on social media about their troubles.
Because of being cheap, has the world turned on you to pay it back?
Everyone should have taken an economics class. What we’re going through is trickle down economics and reddit brought me to trickle down griftenomics.
What late stage are we in now? For us in creative, not coming from money or making it big from selling our passion project to private equity, what stage of late stage hustling are we at?
I did a pop up friendsgiving where I would want to share my drinks with strangers through making matcha martinis on the house and in return, I accepted tips. Tips are greatly appreciated! The first customers didn’t tip and I noticed how awkward it was. I swiftly thought it would make sense to charge so that the conversations would go smoothly and that I wouldn’t have to beg. I changed the amount from $0 to $7 on the menu. It was still affordable and I wanted everyone to enjoy. People were tipping $3 after paying.
Unless you work in service or live in Chinatown, you’re carrying cash!
A thank you goes a long way but that ship has sailed a long time ago.
My landlord sold the building I live in. I live by the new Radio Bakery and it has been announced that Canyon Coffee is going to move to cursed Vanderbilt Ave. The apartment was finalized, appraised, and getting gutted to turn my apt and the downstairs apt to a family home. Now I have to move again although I got used to my neighborhood. I’m spoiled. I’m getting kicked out and in the nuts after finally being comfortable and inviting people over for potlucks.
What would Klaus Nomi do? In other news, my Gibson acoustic-electric guitar came back from the luthier and it looks brand new. More music and comedy next year?
I understand now why people ask if I have a job because it seems I make life look effortless and look free. How about lifeless? Welcome to the dark arts, we’ll be here for awhile. Get comfortable and enjoy your stay.
Countless of people tell me that I’m always hustling and I can’t tell if it’s a backhanded compliment.
I don’t want to hustle anymore. I want to master what I'm doing.
When it comes to life advice, I am least qualified for the job.