Have you ever said a speech at a wedding before?
My close friends got married and I said a speech at their wedding. Have you ever had to prepare a wedding speech before?
When I was a kid I never went to American weddings. Growing up I would see my peers in photos go to weddings, destination weddings, and city hall weddings alike. I would watch tv and movies of people getting married. Thinking that’s a ton of booze. Do we really need all that booze? As an adult, I still haven’t been to those American Wedding weddings and it’s been nice. Been doing pop ups with Matsar and do you know how much booze I bring home. Bottles of wine from Zev Rovine Selections. So it’s that good good. People don’t bring home bottles, there are no leftovers. The guests drink from every cup from it’s last drop.
Micro weddings are what’s in these days which I’m all for. Intimate weddings. So much more fun where you meet and get to know everyone. You become close friends right after. Are boomer parents being selfish about weddings? Throwing micro weddings are in. I love micro weddings.
My close friends got married after they met each other and it was the best wedding I’ve ever been to.
The wedding was in Bali at a space called caSabama that is managed by Nakula, a locally owned hospitality company. caSabama is a 11-bedroom villas in Pantai Saba, Bali, designed by Singaporean architect, Ian Chee. When we arrived at Bali for a couple days, we stayed at Desa Potato Head in Seminyak, where we had the best experience to relax and explore Bali for a moment. Potato Head is a place to rest your head and clear our minds before the wedding although I was very excited for what’s next to come.
When we arrived at caSabama, we greeted the bride and groom with open arms. Big hugs. We loved how organized everything was when the two planned the wedding together. It was a little hectic in the beginning I must say but they ironed all the details out smoothly. Soft landings. The bride and groom made a simple questionnaire of what the guests of close friends and family wanted to do but we wanted to do whatever the bride and groom wanted to do. Checking off the boxes of spending as much time with them as possible. In the mornings, I was an early riser at the villas. I would take a Gojek bike out to Ubud every morning to bring back coffee for everyone from my favorite spot, Seniman Coffee. In the morning light, I took photos of caSabama for Matsar and jumped in the pool.
The first night of the arrival dinner, Marissa, the wonderful bride to be, asked if people would share around the table of how you knew the bride and groom and a favorite memory. When it was my turn, I shared a memory but I didn’t want to put all my cards on the table. People were holding back tears of what they were sharing, including me, choking up, gathering all the memories of how I know Marissa including the brief moments I shared with Todd, the groom. It was a nice exercise and made me think, oh shit, do I have to prepare a speech?
Two days before the wedding, I was in bed getting to writing. It took all my years of writing lyrics and writing classes taken at Upright Citizens Brigade, Gotham Writers, and makeshift standup comedy classes to write this. Blend it with my undiagnosed dyslexia, ocd, adhd, and add. You get what you put in and what I came up with, I was ready.
Before coming to Bali, I had to coordinate on how many rolls of film I should bring for this new leg of the Wear Many Hats Tour + Wedding. I wanted to make sure most of the rolls were for the wedding. I brought backup cameras but that wasn’t enough. I actually needed to bring more cameras because every moment was crucial. As a photographer, you need to make sure you capture every little detail. Digital is what’s needed for these moments, but to sort through a million photos is how we don’t vibe. Film is my friend and I’m known for capturing these moments. There were photographers on deck but I was worried about their skill level. Not to fret they did a phenomenal job.
At the rehearsal dinner, I had to figure out when was the right time to say the speech but Reggie, our lovely friend who also got married in Bali, pushed me to say it during that time. Daddy chill. Even though we were all dressed up I knew it wasn’t time. I could feel it. The next day, during the day of the wedding dinner, the dinner where the two got married, it was time. I made sure everyone said their speeches including, Todd’s mother, father, brother, and Marissa’s mother before I did. I stood up and started saying the speech I wrote. It was typed up on my phone but I wish I wrote it on paper for traditions sake. In this day and age, digital is tradition.
People shed tears after I said my speech. Dan Lee, Marissa’s cousin, said he liked my speech the most. The co-sign. As well as Marissa and Todd, giving me a big hug at the end.
At the ceremony, the bride and groom shared their words. Marissa was keeping it together and Todd was sobbing. I was Kermit sipping tea meme but instead drinking a a bottomless coconut and watching this beautiful ceremony I will never forget. Dan Lee, cued the music at the wrong time that I’m sure no one will forget. After the beautiful wedding ceremony, Marissa was DJing on CDJs and that was legendary. We were dancing all night long.
Todd saying “Rashad! Do you have any more film! Get me jumping in the pool!” It was truly my time to shine and I’ve been waiting for that moment ever since.
I’m sorry Marissa for not sending you the speech afterwards. Here it is:
“At the opening dinner I wanted to say how I truly felt about Marissa and Todd but I couldn’t express my love for these two while wearing shorts. No, I have to be wearing items where Todd compliments me and Marissa sees that I’m trying too hard. So here I am looking like Derek Zoolander and everyone else looks beautiful.
When we first arrived to casaBama , Lulu gave a strong “who are you expression?” where it was so memorable that it threw me back in time to tell you the story of how I met Marissa and Todd. Thank you Lulu and everyone for bringing your love and memories with you.
Let’s go back in time to how I met Todd and Marissa from recent memories to when we were young.
Last year, Marissa invited me to go hang out at Good Dog, a bar in Philly, and to meet with someone she recently met and was very excited for me to meet him.
We played pool and Todd complimented my fit. Our conversations flowed while I pulled a win with Marissa that even my brother would have been proud.
Todd told me that night during the first moments of learning more about Marissa is from listening to a podcast I run. I had Marissa on as a guest and we talked about her creativity, medium, and lust for life.
When I created this podcast, I generate no income, and people these days are surprised to hear that it’s a true passion project. I get to travel the world, learn about other people’s cultures, but I didn’t expect to have someone learn about someone so deeply through something I created. Finally something positive on men creating podcasts.
I was one of the first and lucky ones to meet Todd before they were dating. That night was so special, it could have been a Wong Kar-Wei film because don’t these Wong Kar-Wei titles make sense of their relationship?
In the mood for love
Chungking express
Fallen Angels
Happy Together
Days of Being Wild
Sometimes I don’t make sense but Todd understands what I mean. I don’t understand why he quotes Mad Men but I can relate because it got me through college. Todd, You’re an intelligent person and your hunger for knowledge and love for design is someone so good for Marissa. So I want to thank the man upstairs for linking them up.
Marissa, we were 18 when I first met you in West Philly. You are everyone’s favorite to be around with. Our youth will always be remembered from riding fixed gear bikes to Tigerbeats, streetwear, DJing and making time with all the crazy moments we got into. We’ve lived so many lives together.
I’ve seen you in so many relationships and I never liked any of them.
There was a time I didn’t like that you were calling me your brother but in the end you were always right. You are my sister and I will always look out for you always.
You’re one of my biggest inspirations and you’re the longest friend I’ve ever had.
There were times I saw you sad and I wish I knew what to do. When you would come visit me in NYC and I would come to Philly, we would always make each other happy by telling stories of our past lives.
I wonder sometimes how a person is made and how they’re able to have a beautiful mind. When I look at these two and the people around them, I see that it’s their past that shapes them with the people they cross paths with and everyone they surround with. To the present and future with Marissa and Todd.”